“Trauma is not what happens to us, but what we hold inside in the absence of an empathetic witness” - Peter Levine
Despite touch being a top love language, I have struggled to be comfortable with and accept it from family, friends, and healers alike. Touch comes with trauma, as it does for many women. This may be one reason why touch can be overlooked in the healing process.
When our bodies feel safe to process traumatic experiences in the presence of an empathetic witness, we release the energetic hold our bodies have on past lived stories and experiences. This allows us to live free from repeating the addictive emotional cycles our bodies know and compensate for after trauma.
When we stop reliving the trauma of our stories, the world changes.
Imagine a world where women (the most powerful forces of creation on this planet) stop getting stuck in old emotional cycles keeping them from their true powers of creativity and intuition.
What if we learned how to tune in and turn on the deep wisdom the body holds for us?
Do you know the place?
The place where the inner healer resides. The place where we dream and create from. Touch can help you reach this space of consciousness.
We have too many traumatized women carrying their stories on their backs (what I lovingly refer to as the energetic shit bag), keeping the subconscious safe with the stories of the past. Meanwhile, your body lives on the emotional/biochemical shitstorm these stories repeat in your body. This is why therapy alone does not work. We can NOT find healing if we keep reliving the same stories without energetic clearing and physical bodywork.
Along with the physical release of trauma energy, we need to learn how to energetically unplug from our old shit, transform the energy and retell the story, and create new life. That’s what touch can do. I have watched it happen over and over again through the healing stories of my patients.
The healing benefits of touch are accessible to all! We are all in need of safe touch to restore our systems back to states of balance. When we live in a place of balance, we are open to new states of consciousness where we create the new world we are all dreaming of.
Here’s how touch can help you tune-in and level up:
Ask friends and family for safe touch
Next time you feel foggy in the brain, or feel pressure in your head from overthinking, ask a family member to gently hold your forehead while cupping the back of your head. Take a few deep breaths together and feel what you feel. Allow any energy to pass with ease. If your heart is feeling tender, invite a loved one to place their hand on your chest and feel into the exchange of love.
Practice Co-regulation
It’s been proven that skin-to-skin contact puts both bodies into a healing state. If you are feeling unsafe, ungrounded, or need to re-establish safety for yourself or in a relationship, consider getting naked and cuddling. I say this with some humor, but consent is no joke. Prior to any touch, there must be shared consent to be healing touch. Co-regulation happens during intentional cuddling to ease and soothe activated nervous systems and to re-establish safety. Co-regulating can be done between parents and children, partners, and friends. Entering healing space is entering sacred space. So make sure your environment is set accordingly. Bring in candles, essential oils, incense, music, soft lighting, and comfortable and cuddly stuff.
Start meeting your own needs for touch
This is what it came down to for me. I stopped waiting for my hero to arrive and decided to just BE her instead. Girl - don’t be afraid to touch yourself in the bathtub. Gets some yummy Epsom salt bubble bath - scented to your liking and TOUCH YOURSELF. In whatever way makes your body feel safe and powerful in your skin.
Take it next level and learn some self-massage
Join me for an upcoming Healing Circle with special guest Julie Muskat. She will guide us through techniques to release tension in muscles and fascia, where our trauma stories are stored. It’s a great opportunity to start building a new relationship with this body of yours. Learn where her tension spots hide and just what she needs to find that sweet release. You can trust that the circle space will be safe for you to lean in and explore safety from within your body.
